An interesting nugget of wisdom once came to me from a man named Nostradamus. NO! Not THAT Nostradamus! The Nostradamus that you’re probably thinking about is the one responsible for all of those cornball “predictions.” You know, those “predictions” that are plastered across the faces of supermarket tabloids. Tabloids that claim things like; “The CIA Shot JFK,” “The Moon Landing Was a Hoax” and “Elvis is Still Alive!” [disaffirming head shake]
Yeah….NOT that Nostradamus!
The Nostradamus that I speak of was a character whose full name was Nostradamus Shannon. Fortunately, Nostradamus Shannon also had a convenient nickname. Nostradamus Shannon was better known as “Bull,” the big dumb bailiff (aptly played by Richard Moll) on the classic 80s era sitcom “Night Court.”
In one particular episode, Nostradamus (Bull) Shannon was trying to comfort someone (perhaps himself) about the inevitable demise of our mortal bodies by saying this:
“Relax! Death is just God’s way of saying: Hey! You’re not alive anymore!”
[pause]
Look. I didn’t say it was a profound nugget of wisdom; I said it was an INTERESTING nugget of wisdom.
Nevertheless, if you spend any amount of time unpacking Bull’s or Nostradamus’s or Mr. Shannon’s statement, it may lead you to ask the proverbial question:
“What really does happen when we’re not alive anymore?”
There is a passage towards the end of 2nd Corinthians where Paul is reflecting on a quasi out-of-body experience. Paul had this experience some time before he mentioned it to the Corinthians and, by extension, us. Specifically, Paul had this experience 14 years previous.¹ In this passage it seems that Paul may have received a stirring (albeit brief) peek at what it’s like when death does indeed arrive.
The Bible does give more than a few glimpses of what it’s like when death arrives, but for the moment, we are all trapped inside of these mortal frames. As a result, we can’t know too much about what heaven is REALLY like. That said, this piece is intended to tweak the imagination and inspire us to live for a world beyond this one. It is a world that is, at once, grappled with and promised throughout the pages of the Bible. It’s a world that is, by all accounts, inconceivable and unimaginable. It is the world that will arrive as God says to us “Hey! You’re not alive anymore!”
With that, I invite you to smile and be changed as you sit back to enjoy a heavenly load of creative, quasi-non-fiction Christian humor.
Or not.
Whatever. (sigh)
If you’re still paying any attention, you are about to hear the story of Bob-From-Accounting. God has just told Bob (in so many words) “Hey! You’re not alive anymore!” As a result, yesterday was the last day of the rest of his life.
Before we go any further, you may have an “interest” [soft rim shot] in wanting to know how Bob-From-Accounting died. If that’s the case, “lend” me your ears. [soft rimshot] It’s a story worth “investing” in. [groan]
Bob from accounting had been “liening” against an accumulation of tangible assets when a financial sector collapsed. Bob-From-Accounting was then crunched beneath an uncalculated amount of overdraft numbers. Several billing cycles later, Bob’s body was found deposited in a pool of red. The medical auditor noted that Bob’s body had been bankrupted and brokered in two. Apparently Bob’s last statement was a memo to the federal reserve that said:
“Our fungible expense report is two gross!”
When the ledger was closed on Bob-From-Accounting, Bob’s spiritual body was divested from his fiscal body. [soft rim shot] With that, the spirit of Bob (no longer from accounting) was ushered off to the Great Beyond.
Sure, a lesser person could have said that Bob “cashed in”…but you’re not gonna read that here. (woof)
Regardless, based on typical conversations with Bob (while he was still alive) one would know that Bob’s spirit was probably excited about the prospect of meeting Apollo era astronauts, JFK, Elvis and maybe even Nostradamus…both the real version and the “Night Court” version.² Bob’s spirit was also probably excited about the prospect of meeting his long lost uncle Cleatus. [shoulder shrug]
But first things first!
Bob has arrived in heaven alright, but he wasn’t sure what to do. All Bob knew was that he didn’t have any luggage and he was standing in front of a concierge desk. To Bob’s surprise the desk WASN’T being attended by Peter or Gabriel or even 80’s pop music sensation Peter Gabriel (which would have been REALLY cool).³ No. The desk was being manned (or perhaps more accurately: being “spirited”) by a character with this to say:
Hello there my friend, we’re glad that you came,
— Welcome to Heaven, a place with no shame!
— -You’ll find I’m a bloke,
— -Who loves a good joke,
’Cause I am your host, and Shecky’s my name!”
Bob was a bit confused. He hadn’t expected to meet anyone in Heaven named “Shecky.” To make matters worse, Bob glanced down and noticed a sign on Shecky’s desk that stated: “Welcome to Heaven: No Shirt-No Shoes-No Service”
Bob looked back up at Shecky and asked: “Am I really in the place they call ‘Heaven’?”
Shecky responded with a bit of theatrical flair.
Xanadu and Shangri-La, are names not on our sign,
— Kingdom Come and Beulah Land, sound a tad bit more divine.
— -Some names are thorny,
— -Others quite corny,
So I simply say: “We live on ‘Cloud Nine!”
Bob repeated the last line of Shecky’s cute little limerick, but Bob repeated it as a question: “We live on Cloud Nine?” Shecky’s eyes grew wide as he continued:
Life on Cloud Nine rules, it’s really rather great!
— It’s a whole lot better than, cloud decks one-through-eight!
Bob was bewildered. He blinked several times before Shecky continued on again:
After you checked out, and were called up to the skies,
— Your life it may have flashed, right before your eyes.
Lots of people hate this, ’cause it bares some awful traits,
— But it’s there to make you thankful, for the life that now awaits.
Bob did indeed experience the proverbial “life-flashing-before-his-eyes-moment.” Bob was reminded of a lot of things that he DID NOT want to be reminded of. Frankly, that was enough to make Bob glad that his past life was over and thankful for whatever else was about to come. But now Bob worried about other things like currency exchange rates and whether or not the voltage in Heaven was 110 or 220. Bob also wondered if there might be some sort of Heavenly equivalent to Montezuma’s Revenge. Bob was really concerned that such a condition my have a unsettling name like the “Utopian Trots” or the “Paradise Squirts.” On top of that, Bob was worried about having to hit the books while some thousand-year-old battle-ax named Mrs. DeGroot hovered over him. She’d be forcing him to learn some crazy Heavenly language like Celestialese or Valhallic or Nirvanish.
Bob tried to conceal his fright by asking a seeming nonchalant question:
“So Shecky (if indeed that is your REAL name). What kind of language do they speak up here in heaven anyway?”
Shecky, who did indeed love a good joke, responded in his usual way:
We’ve only got one language, in spite of many claims,
— And it’s based upon the English, we got from ole King James!
[cringe]
If there was some sort of Heavenly version of dumping-a-load-in-one’s-pants, Bob would have done just so. However (Heaven, being perfect and all) there would be no need to clean up any sort of hot mess this day…figuratively OR literally!
For what it’s worth, Shecky wasn’t a fan of the King James version either; so, Shecky (ever the prankster) broke into a huge smile and reassured Bob with this:
I fall over laughing, and let go some howls,
— Whenever I hear, those dumb “thees” and “thous”!
Good grief. Bob wasn’t sure if he should be amused, exasperated or disturbed. All Bob could think to ask was: “Is everyone up here like you?” Shecky gave a very subtle nod indicating “no.” Moments later, Shecky launched into a brief description of Heaven’s population:
Among all our people, there’s never a frown,
— And they come in all colors, like red, white and brown.
— -They’re all God’s creation,
— -They’re from every nation,⁴
It’s a little bit like, a bus ride downtown.
Then, before Bob (or anyone else) could react, Shecky escorted Bob through the Pearly Gates⁵ and declared:
The Big Guy works all up in here, He’s a mover and a shaker,
— And when he calls you by your name, you are going to meet your maker!
Bob could no longer conceal his worry. In this regard Bob just let fly with a barrage of nervous questions:
“What should I wear? Should I bring a gift? How will I know what time to show up? What do I call God? Your Honor? Your Highness? Mr. God? Oh snap! I don’t have my wallet! Do I need to have some sort of I.D.? How does my hair look?”
Bob continued to spout out questions but Shecky had quit paying attention. For the moment Shecky had become distracted with picking manna out of his teeth. Because of that, Shecky missed all of Bob’s questions except for the last two. Bob wanted to know about God’s office. He asked: “Where’s it at and what’s it like?” to which Shecky responded:
The decor is done in ancient light, your mind it will be blown,
— It’s down the hall and to the left, behind a door that’s labeled “throne.”
The reality of this situation was setting in for Bob. He wanted to know whether or not God was going go keep him around or send him to Hell.⁶ With that, Shecky lost his jovial demeanor, broke into a monotone voice and spewed out some standard-issue, Heavenly legal boilerplate:
Our police statement, we call it the Bible,
— States it quite clear: “We can’t be held liable.”⁷
A somewhat confused Bob asked: “Liable for what!?” Shecky glared at Bob and instantly Bob knew. In a slightly defensive protest Bob shouted: “I’VE READ IT!!!…I’VE READ IT!!”
With that, Shecky knew that Bob understood: There was only ONE WAY into Heaven.⁸ The fact that Bob understood this pleased Shecky, but still, Shecky couldn’t help lamenting:
The Bible gives new life, to a world that’s gone astray,
— It tells them of Good News, and sins that wash away,
But for most it remains, a book that’s unseen,
— ’Cause now they’re all lost, in front of a screen.”
Shecky sighed. There was nothing he could do.
On a brighter note, as Bob continued through his “orientation,” he learned that he would be meeting members of the “Old-Testament-Hall-Of-Fame.”⁹ People like Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Enoch, Sampson and David. Bob would also eventually meet all of the prophets and all of the believers who have ever lived and who ever WOULD live. Shecky added:
You’ll also meet Paul, but please don’t start drinkin’,
— There’s no need to worry, ’cause I know what you’re thinkin’.
You do?
Yup!
Paul can sure talk long, which might stir up fears,
— That he’ll talk for a coon’s age, and bore you to tears.
Bob admitted: “Well, the story of that guy who fell asleep during Paul’s preaching DID cross my mind.”¹⁰
Shecky raised his eyebrows and gave an affirming nod. It turns out that Bob HAD INDEED been reading “The Policy Statement” after all. Nevertheless, Shecky felt compelled to wistfully recall the sobering, if not humorous, story of Paul and Eutychus:
For hours Paul droned on, when the Sandman came creepin’,
— Toward a drowsy young lad, who soon would be sleepin’.
His balance was doubtful, as on the window he sat,
— And since Paul wouldn’t zip it, the lad fell down: SPLAT!
But I’ve got some good news, for when you run into Paul
— The length that he rambles, will feel like no time at all!
— -Since it’s perfect up here,
— -I say with some cheer:
There’s no need to worry, ’cause there’s no place to fall!
This alleviated Bob’s concern somewhat; but then Bob was startled by another debilitating fear: the possibility of seeing his ex!
[cue ominous music]
What if she had married up? What if her new husband made more money than Bob had? What if he was taller and darker and worked out more? What if he was more handsome that Bob? Bob worried that his ex would be able to gloat about this for the rest of eternity!
Shecky, forever having an angelic 7th sense, interrupted Bob’s thoughts with this:
When you were on earth, we gave you a hint,
— About those old exes, in our Policy Statement.
And since you have read it, your doubts should be few,
— And you’d know of a truth, that we tried to imbue:
If you had only one wife, or if you had seven,
— It really don’t matter, ’cause there’s no marriage in Heaven!¹¹
Then Shecky lamented:
When some readers learn this, they feel kind of crappy,
— But others it seems, are a wee bit too happy.
Bob shot Shecky a surprised glance and asked in a hushed tone: “Are you sure it’s OK to be using the word ‘crappy’?”
Shecky looked back at Bob, blinked several times let out an exasperated sigh and then rolled his eyes.
All of this hullabaloo from the last several minutes, plus the unorthodox antics of one “Shecky-The Heavenly-Host” had distracted Bob from anticipating another Heavenly blessing he was about to receive.
When we look back over our life we may be surprised by the number of people who have passed on before us. If those people had been reading “The Policy Statement” and had trusted Christ for their salvation, those people will be waiting to greet us when God says: “Hey! You’re not alive anymore.” These people include Grandmas and Grandpas, Mothers and Fathers, Sisters and Brothers, Husbands and Wives and friends near and far. Some of those people passed away expectedly. Some passed away NOT so expectedly. Some of those people passed away naturally and others passed away…well…others passed away NOT so naturally.
With that, Bob was about to have a reunion with his long lost Uncle Cleatus. It had been a while since Bob had seen Uncle Cleatus. In fact, the last time Bob had seen Uncle Cleatus, Bob was known as “Little-Bobby: Not-Yet-From-Accounting.” Little Bobby (Not Yet From Accounting) was on his front porch playing a game of “pretend actuary.” Uncle Cleatus was out working the back forty when he was claimed by, what would come to be known as, “Uncle-Cleatus’s-Farmyard-Faux-Pas”
Shecky took over the story from there:
’Twas the juiciest thing, we ever done seen,
— When Cleatus got mangled, by his threshing machine.
I don’t have to say it, you can probably guess,
— The scene we arrived on, was a pretty big mess.
His arms were flayed, and mixed with the wheat,
— Plus the rotors were clogged, with Cleatus’s feet.
To give you more details, I haven’t the heart,
— But it took time to gather, every last part. [shudder]
But good news I have, no need to feel blue,
— ’Cause all things in Heaven, are entirely new.
Even though it was sloppy, when Cleatus was gored,
— His Heavenly body’s, been completely restored.
Shecky probably doesn’t have the most graceful way of getting to a point, but one way or another, the grown-up version of Little Bobby did indeed get to shake hands with his long lost Uncle Cleatus. However, the best part was this: The hand that Bob was shaking was actually attached to one of Cleatus’s arms! [affirmative nod] This gave Shecky the opportunity to share another neato bit of Heavenly trivia with Bob:
Decades on earth have passed kinda slow,
— Since Cleatus was turned into slaw,
But here on Cloud Nine, time’s kind of odd,
— Those decades for Cleatus, were no time at all.¹²
With the promise that Bob and Uncle Cleatus would see each other a countless number of times moving forward into eternity, Bob continued on with his orientation. However, the next few moments would not be as pleasant as the reunion with Uncle Cleatus. Bob was momentarily pigeonholed by and “Intake Angel.” This Intake Angel seemed to have a bit of paperwork that needed to be filled out. This Intake Angel ALSO seemed to have a bit of an attitude. The Intake Angel started out by asking Bob for a copy of his death certificate.
“Uh…I don’t have one yet…am I supposed to?”
The Intake Angel sighed and explained that a library card or current utility bill would suffice. Bob stammered:
“Uh…I don’t have any of those either.”
The exasperated Intake Angel then asked Bob if he knew his “eternal security number.”
“Well..I don’t know it by heart…but I’m pretty sure there’s a ‘seven’ in it.”
The, now downright grumpy, Intake Angel abruptly retorted with this:
“That’s not Helpful!” -
-Before saying:
“OK. I need to know the names of your last-of-kin.”
Bob thought for a moment and then stated:
“‘Carl-From-Marketing’ and ‘Bernice-From-Receiving’”
The Intake Angel snapped:
“Those aren’t your last-of-kin…those are just two Nimrods you worked with!”
The Intake Angel took a moment to collect himself before continuing:
“Alright, maybe you can help out another way. Please tell me all about your out-of-body experience.”
Bob thought for another moment before answering.
“Well, before Uncle Cleatus died I helped him hammer out the right front quarter panel on a ’73 Impala…did a pretty good job too if I do say so myself!”
The Intake Angel stared at Bob before saying:
“I said ‘OUT-OF-BODY’ experience…NOT ‘AUTO-BODY-EXPERINCE!’”
Poor Bob just shrunk back and said “Oh.” The Intake Angel then turned toward Shecky, shook his head in disgust and asked no one in particular: “Where do these poor souls come from?”
Moments later the Intake Angel gathered up his incomplete set of paperwork, stuffed it under his arm and stomped off…well, as much as anyone can stomp off when you have nothing underfoot other than clouds. After the Intake Angel departed, Bob leaned over to Shecky and whispered a question: “What’s up with him?”
Shecky paused for a moment as he considered how to, quite literally, make a long story short:
When Christmastime came ‘round, we all lit up with glee,
— When we stuck an angel, on top of our ole tree.
The tradition it was started, a long long while back,
— By that Intake Angel, who’s a tiny bit off whack.
That Intake Angle there, became the stuff of lore,
— And as you may have noticed, he’s still a wee bit sore.
The Holidays had come, he began to drive us nuts,
— Because he wouldn’t stop, acting like a putz.
His grousing it went on, couldn’t keep his piehole shut,
— So someone stuffed a pine tree, right upside his butt!
Bob cringed, although…Bob was now happy to finally know where the old ‘Angel-On-Top-Of-The-Christmas-Tree’ tradition originated. [affirmative nod]
As Bob tried to rid himself from the feeling of a phantom wedgie, Shecky led him over to a room that was labeled: “Equipment Closet.” Shecky smiled, took a deep breath and began:
You lived a good life, in fear of the Lord,
— And Heaven is where, your treasure’s been stored,
— -You maintained a trust,
— -In spite of your lust,
So now it is time, for eternal reward.
Shecky continued to wax poetically as he started to rifle through various items in the so-called “Equipment Closet.”
We know you’ve been promised, with joyful assurance,
— That you would receive, a crown of endurance.¹³
Without even looking back Shecky handed Bob a crown. Then Shecky continued:
Here is a white robe, it’s gonna look sharp!¹⁴
— It’ll match your new halo, and here have a harp!
Shecky handed Bob a robe, a halo and a harp. Bob wasn’t quite sure what to do…try out this new stuff or just hold it. Either way, Bob’s arms were filling up as Shecky kept going:
Per Policy Statement, you get a white stone,
— That has a new name, by which you’ll be known.¹⁵
Woah! What?
Bob was a little alarmed at this bit of info about the “new name.” He’d always kind of liked the name “Bob.” Regardless, this new-name thing was about to happen. Shecky took a glance at the engraved stone and involuntarily grimaced with a sharp inhale through his teeth. Regaining his composure (slightly) Shecky looked at Bob and said through a forced smile:
There’s no need to worry, your new name’s quite bold,
— By the looks of this etching, your new name is “Reinhold.”
[cringe]
Reinhold (nee Bob) winced. Shecky continued to force a smile and then patted Bob/Reinhold on the back as if to say: “Everything is going to be OK.” Thinking quickly, Shecky decided to illustrate that the situation could have been MUCH, MUCH worse:
Be thankful you’re not, in those fires afar,
— The stuff that you get, in Hell is bizarre!
They’ll give you a pitch fork, and some bat guano stew,
— And soap made of sulfur, plus an accordion too! [shudder]
With that, Shecky reached into the Equipment Closet for a final time:
Here’s one more item, to add to your things:
— It’s a spanking new pair, of your very own wings!
Reinhold (formerly known as “Bob”) grew skeptical. He noted to Shecky with more than a hint of protest in his voice:
“Hey…wait a second! The Policy Statement doesn’t say anything about anyone getting a new pair of wings.”
Shecky, painfully aware of this stupid earthly misconception, rolled his eyes and replied with resignation:
We know wings aren’t needed, to float or to bask,
— They’re just passed out now, so people don’t ask.
Shecky then shook his head and puffed his cheeks with a prolonged exhale.
Another thing that Bob (I mean Reinhold) had always worried about (besides being named Reinhold) was the idea that Heaven might actually be kind of boring. So, with some genuine curiosity, Bob…(sigh) I mean REINHOLD asked: “What do people up here do for fun?” Shecky’s eyes widened as his face lit up:
At our ample game selection, you are surely NOT to scoff,
— Bowling, darts and pinball too, plus a million holes of mini golf!
Shecky gave an affirmative nod as he continued:
There’s tennis, bridge and racquetball, plus jacks and tug-of-war,
— Canasta, craps and old maid too, HEAVEN’S FULL OF FUN GALORE!
— -But Shuffleboard’s another game,
— -That will bring you heaps of shame,
It’s a game you’ll never win, ’cause no one’s ever beat God’s score!
Oh dear. Now Reinhold was stuck with the mental image of his Heavenly Father playing shuffleboard. [cue ominous music] What has been mentally seen CANNOT be mentally UNSEEN!
Regardless, the Heavenly tour would continue. Next stop: “Cineplex Infinity”…also know as Heaven’s Theater.
Shecky, who had always fancied himself as an ethereal version of Roger Ebert, decided this was a good time to give Reinhold, or Bob or whatever his name was, a strong viewing recommendation:
Though I’ve seen it countless times, since I was a young pup,
— ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’, always gets two thumbs-up!
Reinhold (wanting to be Bob once again) nodded as he looked over a number of titles that were posted on the now-showing marquee at ‘Cineplex Infinity.” Some of those titles included:
“Alice Isn’t DEAD Here Anymore”
“Guess Who’s Coming to the Last Supper”
“The Grapes of Truth”
“You DIDN’T Bring It With You”
“From THERE to Eternity”
“MERCY on the Orient Express”
“NOBODY likes it Hot!”
“Chariots of Fire in the Parking Lot”
AND
“It’s a Wonder AFTERlife”
Under the “coming attractions” heading, several other titles were noted:
“Raiders of the FOUND Ark”
“Apocalypse SOON”
AND
“The Tall Skank Redemption”
I mean really: who can’t like a story about tall skanks being redeemed! Reinhold also couldn’t help but notice that “The Blues Brothers” was also listed under Cineplex Infinity’s Now-Showing Marquee. He asked Shecky why?
Isn’t it obvious, I say with a nod,
— Elwood and Jake, are on a mission from God! [rimshot]
Reinhold face-palmed realizing that he had set up Shecky with a T-Ball shot. Oh well, what are you gonna do? As for Reinhold? He turned and looked out into the Great Vastness beyond Cineplex Infinity. As he did so, Reinhold casually observed: “This place just seems to go on forever.” Shecky took a deep breath, put his arm around Reinhold and began:
Our Father’s house has many rooms, I say it ’cause it’s true,
— You’ll find that if you count ’em, it’s more than just a few.
— -Because it’s such a spate,
— -You might hear The Father state:
I’ve got so many rooms, they’re coming out my dang wazoo!¹⁶
Reinhold shot Shockey a stern parental look as he asked with a tone of concern: “Do you really think it’s such a good idea to be talking about God’s wazoo?” Shecky shrugged before uncorking this little gem:
Should you have ideas, or comments of questions,
— Just drop them inside, our box of suggestions!
A suspicious Reinhold asked: “Do you mean to tell me that Cloud-Nine actually has a suggestion box?” Shecky continued:
They’re sorted by Gabe, he sure ain’t no loafer,
— And he’ll read them as soon, as Hell freezes over!
Reinhold pulled his head back and said “There is no suggestion box is there?” Shecky shook his head “No” Reinhold then lamented: “I guess the rumors about Heavens Souvenir Shop were unfounded too huh?” With this, Shecky’s eyes lit up as he took on the persona of something between a Vaudeville stage actor and a used car salesman:
Our shelves are all stocked, from bottom to top,
— With snow-globes and stuffed bears, and bottles of pop,
— -Some halos? A gemstone?
— -Or a souvenir throne?
We’ve got what you need, at ‘Ye Ole’ Heaven Gift Shop’!
Reinhold remained stoic as he tentatively replied:
“There is no gift shop either….is there?”
Shecky responded with something between resignation and annoyance:
Reinhold I know, my humor is odd,
— But please can you stop, being a NIMROD!
Reinhold and Shecky blinked at each other. Without breaking eye contact, Shecky reached over to some little gizmo sitting on a nearby desk. With the swipe of his hand and some musical fanfare, Shecky ripped off a brand new laminated I.D. badge. Shecky handed it to Reinhold and announced:
Congrats you’re a citizen, that card is no fake!
— Now let me show you, our secret hand-shake!
Reinhold began to stick out his hand before realizing: “Oh, Ha Ha..Very funny! You almost got me with that one! There is no Heavenly handshake…is there.”
Shecky winked as a new chapter was about to begin:
It’s time to get started, with a wonderful day,
— The Son’s coming out, to wipe tears away!¹⁷
With a new sense of confidence and belonging, Reinhold was about to go out and do some exploring on his own. He was ready (in more ways than one) to see Heaven’s river flowing past the Trees of Life.¹⁸ Reinhold was excited about taking a stroll along the streets of gold¹⁹ where the Lord has removed insults, mockery and doom. These streets are the same streets where the Lord has also swallowed up death forever!²⁰ But mostly, Reinhold was excited about the Lord’s Heavenly Feast which had been laid out for all the people of the world to enjoy²¹ … up to and including Reinhold.
As Reinhold set out, the first room he came to reminded him of his Grandmother’s kitchen. It was warm and inviting and tastefully decorated. This room was furnished with appliances that seemed to be, at once, antique and futuristic. As Reinhold wandered in, his attention was captivated by a unique looking icebox that was tucked away in a corner. This icebox was covered with a countless number of individual portraits that represented people from every tribe and every nation.
Shecky had been following Reinhold (nee Bob) not far behind. Perhaps secretly. Perhaps not. Either way, as Reinhold studied the collage of images on the curious looking icebox, Shecky approached Reinhold to softly announce one more bit of Heavenly intrigue:
I know that I might sound, a bit like a twit,
— But this is God’s kitchen, and he invites you to sit.
— -So please cast your eyes,
— -And don’t be surprised,
That God has a fridge, and your picture is on it.
****************************************************************************
¹ 2 Cor 12:1–11 — Possibly associated with Acts 14: 19–20
² While I was penning this piece Richard Moll was still alive. However he passed before this piece got “published”
³ Peter Gabriel: Fortunately still alive at time of publishing. (I think. I don’t know. I’m in prison while writing this crap. The outside world is kind of a rumor.
⁴ Rev 7:9 /⁵Rev 21:21 /⁶Heb 9:27–28 /⁷@ Pet 3:9 /⁸John 3:16 /⁹Heb Chap 11 /¹⁰ Acts 20:7–12
¹¹Matt 22:30 /¹²2 Pet 3:8 /¹³James 1:12 /¹⁴Rev 6:11 /¹⁵Rev 2:17 /¹⁶ John 14:2 ¹⁷Rev 21:4
¹⁸Rev 22:1–2 /¹⁹Rev 21:21 /²⁰Isa 25:7–8 /²¹Isa 25:6
****************************************************************************
Stage Ending:
Shecky: I know that I might sound, a bit like a twit,
— But this is God’s kitchen, and he invites you to sit,
Narrator: — -Then Reinhold cast eyes,
— — And said with surprise:
Reinhold: God has a fridge….and my picture is on it!
