LIFE IN THE HYPHEN

Someday my life will come to an end. I’ll “kick the bucket”, I’ll be “planted with the spring crops”, the groundhogs will be bringing my mail, I’ll be “taking a dirt nap”, I will have been “tagged and bagged”, put a fork in me….I’m done. For you “science-y” types out there, I will have “assumed equilibrium”. At that point I will get a tombstone. Well, I probably will. Come to think of it, I don’t know. My family is pretty cheap. At least I can hope for an obituary in the local paper. Hmmm….wait a minute, on second thought, the whole “newspaper-concept” will probably already have its own “tombstone”. Oh well, at the very least, perhaps I can be hopeful that my family might mention my demise on whatever social networking site is trendy at the time. “Insta-book”…..”Twit-Snap”….”Pin-Face”? Whatever it happens to be. Anyway, the point is, when I die my life will have spanned within the date of my birth and the date of my death. Between those two dates are all of my past and all of my future. Wherever my death is mentioned these two dates will appear. And these two dates will be separated…with a hyphen. That hyphen is my today.

Dealing with the past can be tricky. I will spend the time worrying about it; but I can hardly go back and change anything. Perhaps I can make amends by trying to smooth over the past with some kind words or loving actions. Unfortunately, I will usually just make things worse.

“Good grief….that didn’t work.”

So, after learning that “dredging up the past” is a bad idea I will move on to worry about the future. The “future” however, is an even trickier place than “the past”. You’d think that I would have learned my lesson, but noooooo. The future “needs” to be worried about because it’s a scary place; lots of unknowns. It’s fraught with peril and mystery. Has anything good ever come out of the future? Don’t answer that.

Unlike the past, I CAN do something about the future. Well, at least I can try. The problem is, I just don’t know what to do. What’s worse is that my past is lurking in the shadows ready to come back and haunt my future.

Aggggh! Trying to reconcile my “damaged past” with an “unknown future” is a losing proposition. I’m trapped. I’m caught in this nebulous area between the past and the future. An area known as….today.

I should have no problem dealing with today….right? I have “total control”. Seize the day! Or not. Alas, my “today”, or “hyphen” as it is, doesn’t seem to be quite right. Things aren’t lined up “just-so” and as such I’m not mentally prepared to do the things I WANT to do, much less the things I NEED to do. “Today” is not good enough. My “hyphen” is full of problems. There are people missing from my life that I wish were “here”. There are people IN my life that I wish were NOT. It’s a bit on the cold side, it’s a little too warm. I’m hungry, I’ve eaten too much. I’m too tired. There’s something on tv I want to watch. I can do that tomorrow, besides, my spleen hurts.

My “today” is a mess. I know I should do something, but I don’t. Slavery to the past, combined with my very limited influence on the future is exacerbated by my “excuses-of-today”.

In everyday life we all field the same old rhetorical question, “Hey! How’s it going?” Typically this question is answered with: “not bad” or “nothing new” or some other vacuous platitude (I’ve been looking for a while, and finally found a place to shoehorn in the phrase vacuous platitude). But in prison there is a delightfully sarcastic answer that you will hear quite often. The answer is this, “Oh, I’m livin’ the dream”. Yeah, as if my present life in prison is the result of some long ago fantasy. How pathetic!? Indeed my life in prison is a result of my past actions. It’s just not the particular dream I had in mind. Nevertheless, this is where I am. My prison life is now, and forever, is an included part of my “hyphen”. Whether I like it or not. This is my “today”.

There is a song we sing in church from time to time. It is called “This is the Day that the Lord has Made”. If you ask me, it’s kind of a goofy song. I remember singing it as a kid, so that may explain my less-than-flattering opinion of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice song, just a tad too “cheery” for me. For what it’s worth, it’s not nearly as bad as: “If You’re Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands”. But I digress. In regard to the song “This is the Day”, if you remove the music and simply read the lyrics I think it takes on a more profound meaning. “This is the day” (today) “that the Lord” (God) “has made” (created). To be sure, he also made yesterday, and will make tomorrow too. However, immediately, I have received “today” as a gift from God.

On a practical level, the Bible has lots of good advice concerning our “hyphen”. Jesus tells us in Matt 6:34 to not be anxious about tomorrow [why?] because tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble.

That sounds great. Translation: that doesn’t sound great. I guess that means I have to focus on today. As I illustrated a few moments ago, most of my “troubles” of today are my excuses to NOT do anything. Perhaps I should continue to focus on Jesus’ “plan of attack” for not wasting my “hyphen”.

If Jesus’ teaching, and for that matter, the entire Bible, could be summed up in one sentence, it would probably be this: “love your God and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22:37–39). Or simply stated, “put others first”.

[Well, that’s fine and dandy, but how am I supposed to do that?] “In order that we may not become hardened by sin, (or life, or anything else for that matter) we are to exhort one another…every day, as long as it is called “today””. That’s the advice of Hebrews 3:13.

Regardless of who IS or isn’t in my life, regardless of the temperature….forgetting about my appetite AND my energy level AND what’s on tv…ignoring the “pain” in my spleen….I can, at the very least, use my “hyphen” to encourage others.

One easy excuse I may use to waste my “today” is that pesky past of mine. The hidden difficulty in dealing with my “former self” is this: “forgetting the past”….but at the same time “NOT forgetting the past”. I think the old saying goes: “Those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it.” I called that “summer school”. A good example of how to deal with this situation is found in God’s repeated declarations to his people to NOT forget their time in Egypt and their deliverance from slavery. God certainly dos not want his people to go back to slavery in Egypt (their past), but they are to be ever mindful of the gift of freedom they received. Freedom they enjoy “today”.

It’s also worth noting that a potential problem with “living-in-today” is that we can become preoccupied by living for immediate rewards. In that regard, we can become wastful in our lifestyles. We need to use at least some of our “today” to invest in the future. Yeah, I know, preparing for the future is a drag. It has no short-term payoff. Perhaps it’s best to view it as a “necessary evil”. Kind of like how women view sex or how men view marriage.

[Woah….did he just say that?!?]

Say what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, as far as “preparing for the future” goes, in 1 Tim 6:18–19 Paul is talking to wealthy people, but his message is universal. “In this present age (our hyphen) we are to do good and to be rich in good works, generous and ready to share”. That way we store up treasures for ourself as a good foundation for the future.

I will submit that the best way to deal with a “today” that intrinsically ties together our past and future is this: “Do not dwell on the past, but learn from it while, at the same time, preparing for the rest of your life.”

Since I have been in prison I have a renewed appreciation for people who have led productive lives from behind bars. I think of a woman named Karla Tucker. She spent the last decade of her life telling as many people as possible about the love and forgiveness she received from Jesus Christ. Her new life in Christ led to the creation of some seemingly impossible relationships, including some with her victims family and a man who would become her husband. Before her ministry ended I would learn a valuable nugget of wisdom from her about staying out of God’s way. She once offered up this prayer:

“God, if this is really you telling me [this is going to happen] you are going to have to make it come about because I’m not helping you.” (From: ‘Karla Faye Tucker Set Free’ by Linda Storm, page 71). Karla Tucker exhibited faith and strength in the face of death. She was executed by the State of Texas on February 3, 1998.

I am inspired by the Apostle Paul. He penned about half of the New Testament books; five of which were letters that he wrote while in prison. It’s also worth noting that the Book of Revelation was written by John while he too was in prison.

I am inspired by friends whom are blind, friends who have Down Syndrome, friends whom will be claimed by illness in spite of their situations they live joyful and productive lives. They don’t let ANYTHING stop them from sharing Christ with others. I think of my “wife”, parents and kids whom have to live with the ugly stigma of having a husband, son and dad in prison. My family’s “hyphen” goes on….as God will NOT let their light be diminished by the likes of me. I think of my friend Gary, a man who made many poor choices in life before being “captured”, both literally and figuratively. Gary is a living example of the life saving and life changing power of Christ. He is also not shy about sharing that fact. Gary’s life was not going to be snuffed out by the likes of himself. God is seeing to it, against all odds, that Gary’s hyphen finishes strong. It’s worth noting that Gary is in federal prison serving multiple life sentences…plus, over two centuries.

This section is based on Isaiah 6:1–8. Another striking example of someone who had a “today” that wasn’t quite right is that of Isaiah (the one from the Bible). Isaiah is in the process of being chosen by God, but Isaiah has trouble accepting the call. Sound familiar? Isaiah can’t accept the call because “he is lost”. He is “a man with unclean lips”. Again, does this sound familiar? Isaiah actually claims to have a “disadvantage” because he has “seen” the Lord of hosts….(sigh). I guess I can’t fault Isaiah. If I were in his sandals and God was calling ME in dramatic fashion shaking foundations, rooms filled with smoke, this sort of thing, I probably would have balked too. I would have been “lost” by doing my own thing. My lips are decidedly unclean and I too have “seen” the Lord of hosts in the sense that I have spent enough time in the Bible to simply realize how much of a sinner I really am.

I’ve always been a fan of those variable message board signs that churches use to get your attention with a raw, unadulterated pith. Creative church staff will post messages such as: “under same management for over 2000 years” or perhaps “sign broken, come inside for message”. Every once in a while you might see a “joke” referring to prayer as “knee-mail” (ha-ha, very cute). I’ve also noticed churches seem to have a lot of pancake breakfasts. Oh well, not important. Sometime ago I read one of these messages that was more serious in tone. It still rattles me when I think about it today:

“God doesn’t call the qualified….He qualifies the called.”

Isaiah quickly learned this. As God is calling Isaiah He sends an angel to take away his sin and guilt. Then, Isaiah answers the call:

“Here I am! Send me.”

God “qualified” Isaiah.

Isaiah spends the rest of his “hyphen” warning of the consequences of sin, encouraging exiles and talking of future glory. Probably not what Isaiah dreamed of when he was a kid. Of course, it still beats the dreams he MAY have had of emptying chamber pots and selling used camels.

To be sure, God’s plan is always better.

Journalist Art Buchwald once made a statement that may cause you to reevaluate your “today”. He said this, “Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.”

I have to say, he’s definitely onto something. As far as our “today” goes? If we’re stalled out right now because our time is “the worst”, I humbly suggest we get over it. Don’t worry about your problems. Don’t worry about your appetite or the temperature. Don’t worry about being in a “bad place” concerning either time or location. Don’t worry about your spleen. Use your “today” to do something good.

In Luke 19, Jesus tells “the parable of the Minas”. A landowner goes off and leaves his servants with 10 minas a piece and tells them to “engage in business until he returns”. The servants do not know it at the time, but this is going to be a test of their responsibility. What are they going to do with their minas? Two of the servants pass the test. One of them fails. I encourage you to read the passage for yourself, but it’s sufficient to say this, Jesus is the landowner. We are the servants and the “mina” he has entrusted us with is our “hyphen”. We are being tested on how we use it.

If I were Jerry Springer and could offer a final thought it would be this. Be a good steward of the time and place you have been given and I encourage you, no matter what the weather is or what the season is, be sure to bloom where you are planted.