Merry Christmas Sermon-Attainment readers! (or “reader” as the case may be [cringe])

Nobody has actually told me this but I’ve come to the realization that my standard-issue blog posts are just WAY TOO LONG. After giving this a great deal of consideration I have decided to blame my editor. [note to self: hire editor to blame]

However, with ridiculously-long-blog-posts in mind, this season I have opted to offer up a Christmas miracle of sorts: an abbreviated Yuletide blog post for your disposal. [2nd note to self: rethink use of the word “disposal”]

Ok…here we go: This Christmas season I haven’t had a lot of time to generate the usual amount of material that is snarky, pithy or just plain stupid. This Christmas season all of my extra snarky, pithy and stupid energy has gone into the first full length Christmas play I have ever attempted to produce. This Christmas play (called “Jingle Sales”) is loosely based on a blog post from several years ago called: “Jingles Hell (Not Affiliated with Christmas).”

The briefest nutshell I can muster to describe “Jingle Sales” the play goes like this: A church and and an advertising agency are located across the street from one another. The advertising executive is trying to sell THE CHURCH on an ad campaign for God. However, the advertising executive isn’t having too much luck. Towards the end of the “Jingle Sales” the “lowly” church maintenance man, Mark, goes over to have a word with the advertising executive. When Mark arrives at the ad agency he is berated by the advertising executive with this:

“The only thing your ‘company’ is advertising is church bingo and some lame potluck dinner!”

The advertising executive then asks Mark with a bit of derision:

“Doesn’t your “company” even have a catchy slogan??”

To the advertising executive’s surprise, Mark does indeed produce a ‘slogan’ of sorts:

“Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself.”

The mostly unimpressed advertising executive replies:

“That’s it?!? There’s no ‘get your parents permission,’ there’s no ‘your mileage may vary,’ there’s no ‘some assembly required,’ no ‘batteries not included!’”

The incredulous advertising executive continues on:

“Where’s the Catch??? Where’s the fine print???”

With that, Mark (the ‘lowly’ church maintenance man) then produces a Bible saying:

“If it’s “fine print” you’re looking for, let me give you a copy of God’s Word….it’s the finest print that will ever exist.”

Then, seeing as how it’s the Christmas season and all, Mark urges the advertising executive to open up his Bible and start reading from the book of Luke, chapter 2 [cue Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” song].

This Christmas season, in lieu of reading something snarky, pithy or just plain stupid (that’s probably WAY TOO long), I encourage you to do as the ‘lowly’ church maintenance man suggests and settle in for a reading of Luke chapter 2.

Don’t worry, there’s plenty more snarky, pithy and just plain stupid material (that’s probably way too long) which is waiting to be posted in the very near future…but for now, enjoy the respite.

Satisfaction guaranteed…or your money back!

Merry Christmas!
As always: Smile and be Changed.
In Christ,

Steve